The week that was

"Ramgoat a sweat!
Long hair cover it!"


Interesting local expression. It's the first time I've heard it, but I love it. I was dog sick this week past and noone believed that I was as sick as I was. Perhaps its because I didn't and don't ususally make a big deal about illness so I under-report how I feel. I do that because I don't like when ppl worry over me. There are more important things in life to be concerned about.

I was a sickly child rushed to the hospital over asthma attacks so often and then I was not given the measles vaccine cause it was supposed to cause asthma attacks they said....... SHOW ME THE PROOF PUNKS!!!........... So I had measles (unnecessarily), chicken pox, strange dermatological eruptions with the changing seasons, and a runny nose everytime breeze blow. Was treated for sinusitis which was probably a misdiagnosis; I'm sure I had allergic rhinnitis instead. Every damn month I had a cold. I swam to strengthen my lungs. It took years but I think it worked. So years of being worried over and watching my mom in tears as I lay there unable to breathe properly and she just has to pray and wait for meds to work, has led me to under-report the not-so-serious instances. It has also led to enjoy life so much more cause the reality is I just need one really bad attack to get me when I'm too far from help and in 15 min I'm dead.

A cold is a cold and everybody gets them even if infrequently. So I got a bad flu and it came with lots of lovely symptoms that I normally hear from patients at hospital, I was more in awe watching the correllation between taught physiology and what I was experiencing. Perhaps I should have gone to the hospital when I started hallucinating. I would have advised others to do that. But I was still in control of my faculties sufficiently to keep it to myself (perhaps a few degrees higher and I wouldn't have been in control).

The thing is that when I'm sick, because I'm asthmatic, I go into broncho-constriction easily but I don't always wheeze. I also know how to pace my breathing to avoid distress but minimise sounds that would alert my family to take me to the hospital in fear/panic. I believe I am reasonable enough to know when its bad enough that I need emergency treatment by this age, because is not yesterday I start have asthma. In the same way my brother has sickle cell and he knows which crisis warrants an A&E visit and which he can wait out. Last week was toeing the line for me though. That was why I took my temp regularly (every 2 hrs - highest was 102.8F) to ensure that I was still erring on the side of good sense.

So I speak by gesticulations and short sentences because anything else would upset the delicate equilibrium. I don't move around too much and sleep as much as possible. Energy has to be conserved or I'll go into respiratory distress. An increased oxygen demand is not an option. I smile instead of laugh. I lean to the side and stretch out my legs. Leaning forward reduces lung volume and that's a no-no. Eating provides energy but uses it up first. One ought not to breathe while swallowing............ something about choking/aspiration.

I'm better now, though not 100% because that takes a little bit longer for me than for others. Thank God for taking me through the three exams while I was too sick to even concentrate. He cleared my head and reduced the fever each day to go to exam (After exam it returned). Too bad I didn't have my inhaler. I might have endured less pain.

P.S. Marriage therapist..... marriage the-rapist. Coincidence?