My take on the Miss Universe contestants

Now I was originally just viewing their page from a link from Mad Bull's blog and saw Miss Zambia who took my breath away. Then I thought I would go through all the other contestants and see who I like. Then I thought I would go out on a limb and speak on them all. Excellent way of getting in trouble since everybody's tastes differ.

NB. They are all beautiful women or they would not be in the competition. I am not a judge and therefore my views don't mean diddly. So please don't call me or threaten to kill me or ask me why I didn't say nice things about someone. Anyway, here it goes.

Miss Zambia - As the pic loads I am struck by a beautiful face that just begs me to take my broke ass and send her flowers. Is it time for a black person to win? I just want to know what her chances are.

Miss Venezuela - Looks ok but has those rib showing trait that ..... I can't stand. I know you have ribs, you must have ribs or your chest will colapse. Why show them to me? Nice Knockers though.

Miss US Virgin Island - Is she? I'm just asking! Anyway she looks fairly decent. No complaints but she doesn't quite stand out. Rosie Perez-ish face.

Miss USA - Nice knockers. She must make it in or Bush will bomb!

Miss Uruguay - ahmmm, I guess she is ok. Nice smile!

Miss United Kingdom - Has that trollop look. I'm sure she isn't...... I hope not..... sorry just extracting my foot from my mouth. Knees got stuck on the back of my teeth.

Miss Ukraine - Anorexia is a terrible disease. She seems to be on the thinner side of paper.

Miss Turks & Caicos - Whomever did her hair is to be hung, drawn and quartered. Di lady look nice and then you ketch sight of her head. Sort dat out before judgin my girl.

Miss Turkey - Thought she'd be stuck in a sahri or something. Ok, not my style at all.

Miss T&T - Nice curves, dat face make-up is weirdly applied and Poochie-loo is mourning the loss of his tail.

Miss Thailand - Very cute! Nice!

Miss Switzerland - Feed her! Now!

Miss Sweden - So... there is no sun in Sweden .... or tanning salons.... rare sun allergies....?

Miss St. Vincent/Grenadines - Nice looking but just don't think there is a striking feature about her that makes you say wow.

Miss St. Martin - Not bad but there is something ......odd about her face!

Miss St. Lucia - ahmmm..... wrong competition my girl. Fashion model is for you!

Miss Sri Lanka - Nice face. Grabs your attention.

Miss Spain - Great magazine copy face and body but not striking enough for this stage.

Miss South Africa - Now we're getting somewhere. Not likely to win but easy on my eyes.

Miss Slovenia - Only showed her top so can't compare her as well. But her face is nice... make-up assisted no doubt.

Miss Slovak Republic - Not bad at all.

Miss Singapore - Now is where she find dem dere knockers?! Not complaining.

Miss Serbia/Montenegro - Ok I guess.....

Miss Russia - I got nothing.

Miss Puerto Rico - Chin too angular, hair can't hide it.

Miss Poland - Not what I expected from Poland but not enough to win.

Miss Phillipines - Nice looking but comes across as a bad pickney pose.

Miss Peru - Di innocent look wearing now. Not bad at all.

Miss Paraguay - Pink entered!?

Miss Panama - Body XX, face XY-ish. I'm sceeerd! Am I gay?

Miss Norway - Straight out of a comic book, the look is expected. Hollywood should love her.

Miss Nothern Marianas - Where is this and why haven't I heard about them before? If she is indicative of what they have to offer I need to visit there someday soon and feast my ...... eyes! Innocent look with nice curves really is pleasing.

Miss Nigeria - Nice but those nails have got to go. Slightly opened lips as she stares at you... something stirring about that. I met a girl from Nigeria (Oyinda) who could run rings round half these contestants!

Miss Nicaragua - Ok looking.

Miss New Zealand - Fashion model again. Her mouth is striking though.

Miss Namibia - Cute girl next door. Is that her hair?

Miss Mexico - She's aight. But just looks like too many others.

Miss Mauritius - She ok as well. Sameness fatigue setting in.

Miss Malaysia - Nice face but body not a contender. Face brings up the marks though. Nice structure.

Miss Lebanon - 'Straight' to the point... not to my liking. I still however am not in favour of what is happening in that country.

Miss Latvia - I'm seeing a european blonde trend here. Good thing they wear sashes so we can tell them apart.

Miss Korea - Cute as a button. Awwww! 5' 7 my a$$.

Miss Kazakhstan - This one is too cultural (controversial) for me.

Miss Japan - Nothing happening for me with that pic or pose.... sorry.

Miss Jamaica - Mek dem sen up dis mawga gal! She look good but she mawga! Mi vex.

Miss Israel - Wrang wrang wrang pose my girl! You want some yam and dumplin and dasheen.... nice knockers though.

Miss Ireland - Deja vue?! Bring rum cream when you coming!

Miss Indonesia - Nice! Fish net stockings?!

Miss India - That is not what I expected. They allowed her to dress like that? She's actually not hairy! Suddenly she looks that much better.

Miss Iceland - I think some cloning went on in this competition.

Miss Hungary - I think she is. Go get some grub girl!

Miss Guyana - Nice lookin..... but there is something missing.... not sure what it is.

Miss Guatemala - looks like poster girl for barely legal

Miss Greece - looks like Carrie from days of our lives..... how do I know that..... I don't rightly know.

Miss Ghana - Nice but she shoulda smile. Now I notice dat she mawga too. This thing is only fi mawga ooman? Smaddy shoulda tell mi!

Miss Germany - Gwaan deh my girl. You a gwaan well! Me'll over-look di ribs showin.

Miss Georgia - Making up numbers I see.

Miss France - Not even a ZiZou (head buck) could help you.

Miss Finland - Her sisters are representing other cold countries. If one win, di whole of dem affi win too.

Miss Ethopia - Nice ass, but she mawgerah dan di res! But she has a royal look about her.

Miss Estonia - Nothing really out-standing. Ok smile.

Miss El Salvador - Sweet! Face is closer to plain but her body is curvy.

Miss Egypt - Nothing spectacular.

Miss Ecuador - Nice. Really nice.

Miss Dominican Republic - Nice face, not a chance.

Miss Denmark - You again!

Miss Czech Republic - Nice knockers!

Miss Cyprus - Nothing outstanding.

Miss Croatia - Sorry, not doing anything for me.

Miss Costa Rica - Hola senorita! Cutey I'd talk to anyday!

Miss Colombia - I'd work with her upper half anytime.

Miss China - I'm not sure what to say.... so

Miss Chile - She aight.

Miss Cayman Islands - Nice package, but pointy chin.

Miss Canada - (Mi want mi visa so) What a lovely young miss. She don't stand a chance.

Miss Bulgaria - No chance either.

Miss Brazil - I suspect an early departure ..... world cup again?

Miss Bolivia - Nice picture but just not stunning enough to make it. Mild curves is not ideal.

Miss Belgium - Not a look I expected from this country but ok.

Miss Bahamas - Daaaamnnn! (876) 927-1575! Call me..... please!

Miss Australia - No ma'am. Wrong pose! Dem neva want you win at all.

Miss Aruba - Cute next door girl looks.

Miss Argentina - Early exit as well with little remorse.

Miss Antigua & Barbuda - Nice body, face...... exotic face that may not be what will be appreciated.

Miss Angola - Nice girl, no top, there's alwasy fashion modelling my girl.

Miss Albania - Too skinny.