Releasing your grip

I recall that ~13yrs ago I used to be so adamant about on-line music piracy and software piracy in general. A friend of mine reminds me how my brother and I came down so hard on him for borrowing CDs and running them all off instead of purchasing his own. I don't recall the actual conversation but it sounded like me.

So what happened that has sent me 180 degrees?!

I remember purchasing my software and then having the support removed because I was out of the continental US. Over and over I did this and got shafted. Then I started using the on-line free versions of software programs, only to have them get bought out once their popularity soared. Things were so bad that for several months I had no antiviral programme and was a sitting duck. Even had my machine hacked! But I had comfort in the fact that I owned over 300 original CDs.... that I never listened to!

Well the downward spiral began with a search for music that I wasn't able to locate in the stores... old songs. Then I started getting remixes of originals that I already owned. Then albums I had bought were stolen from my house and when I replaced them, they got stolen again. Now I was pissed! It seemed to me that the right thing to do was not yielding the results it ought.

Then I saw a documentary about artistes making money from the tours since the record companies were shafting them. Since they were now making money I started justifying getting their music for free. Then I started going for whole albums, then whole discographies, then video clips and then whole movies .... I turned it into an art! Worse I was now doing it because I could and not because I had any specific need. Sounds like an addiction doesn't it!

But that's how sin starts. You get tempted, perhaps when you are down on your luck after trying very hard to do the right thing, or perhaps at a time when you haven't even thought about the situation properly. You know it's wrong but you give the talk a listening ear just to see what is being said. Then you start to justify the action or thought. Having reconciled yourself to the single action you then justify it a bit further or convince yourself that since you dun gone wrong you might as well continue.

Coming back from this spiral downwards is no easy task. You now have a familiar behaviour that is second nature to you and you must now cultivate a new behaviour to replace it. But most times the new behaviour, although the correct track, is not as much fun and is down-right difficult to maintain. The failure rate is high simply because you have to get to 100% sustained in the opposite direction until it becomes the comfortable behaviour. That's denying yourself quite a bit.

It is a tad easier if you have distractions to replace it with systematically, such as Methadone used to step down from Heroin. But it has to provide a similar effect to replace the original!

On our own we fight this really hard battle that leaves too many scars to claim victory. But having someone to help you makes the journey that much easier. Of course if your habit is nothing you want to cop to then who will hold your hand along the way? Only God is comfortable enough to hold your hand.

So as I contemplate repenting of my downloading addiction, I encourage you to examine your life in turn and see what we can give up together in spirit.