Update

I signed in to be pleasantly surprised that my last post did indeed make the editors deadline. Just as I had clicked the button to publish, the lights dimmed and my PC rebooted. I didn't have the heart to check if it made it or not. Many hrs later, I'm much calmer, what could have been resolved was resolved and I'm still standing...... further testimony to the fact that there really is no need to worry about anything.

Lets look back at the problem.

BROKE!!!! That was a quick journey. I've been broke for quite some time now. My family is not rich. We are not well off. However, we more than just get by. During my first degree I travelled, I feted, I holidayed, I socialised. Money was flowing. Typical of that age I never bothered to worry about where it came from and my mom never knew where it went. All I had to be given was the coordinates and the relevant dates and I was on whatever lyme.

There was a brief most scandalous point in time when I was temporarily cut off from the family wallet/purse when I dared to date someone unapproved. Car priviledges were removed and I learned to take the bus all over the island. I also got a part-time job which really turned into full-time job and part-time school. Despite the reversal of enrollment. At the time I was getting the minimum lunch money and allowance and was earning $10K tax free per month (plus all the ice cream and test patties and chicken they cooked up in improving said products) I simply had to keep their network up and running efficiently. I also got 1/2 price lunch at all franchises islandwide. Pretty sweet deal I thought.

I was still able to fete myself quite well and back at the standard to which I was accustomed. Then I switched faculties and girlfriends. One relieved me of the free time to work and the other of the burden of sanctions. I was given back my car key and detail and more money placed at my disposal. The job and its perks went, but since my ex was psycho, it remained a sweet deal.

I joined pan, deal got sweeter in so many respects. My brother secured tickets for air travel for me for next to nothing as part of his sweet deal. Then I had to run my own house. Damn life was good. Graduation rolled around and I got another job working with the airline. My surreal life! Then was out of work for 6mths while I helped my mom with her phD research. Got a job which sent me on 3mths training in Runaway Bay in a hotel. Meals and accomodation on them. I graduate Valedictorian from the bunch after sleeping out all the training sessions after the first week. The work was hard and heart-rending but pay was decent enough and most importantly I was helping ppl.

Preparing to do MSc in Forensic Psychology in Australia (Foster's Australian for beeeaay), trying to find a place to move out to and looking for a car when I got into Med school. OK interesting switch, not really but it'll work. It sucked my pockets, accounts, savings, dry!!! Forget Australia, forget car, forget moving out. Fulltime programme makes working at the traditional part-time work a tad bit difficult. So I have subsisted at this level since.

As my fees increase and other incidentals (books etc...) I spend less of my family's money out of guilt. Now my brother has gone back to school. I try to spend even less. By right I should take all playouts so that I have a steady supply of food, but its not that bad......... really it isn't.................... tell me it isn't!

I have very little to my name... which reminds me it's time to revise my will. The super Nintendo is old and I need to replace it with the Nintendo 64.... that's old too. Aw hell!!! I've only my good will to give away.

So today I asked my brother for some money and he gave me what he had....... $300. To accomplish:
1. Melissa's play
2. Miniature golf with a grp member returning to Barbados
3. Get together with class ( free food)
4. One of those herbal supplement meetings I inadvertently agreed to attend

Including gas for the car.

I prayed for rain to wash away the golf. It rained and the ppl at Put N Play closed. The rain held up the gathering so that I had time to go to Melissa's play (an excellent one might I add rich with textures of human bodies making up all the props- delicious). I got enough free food at home. The guy didn't come to get me to go to the meeting so I have until tomorrow to deal with him. My golfing buddies went to T.G.I. Friday's instead (Friday's for short I am told). I waited until I figured they had ordered and eaten and then turned up. So doing I missed the lyme with Melissa afterwards for which I couldn't afford the ice cream, but also lymed with classmates and avoided awkwardness of having to share the check and not eat.

Took my own sweet time driving back with the needle just above E.

I am convinced this is a testing like what Job got in the old testament. It is also a product of the world that has moved on. All in all, things have turned out well. I'm still confident that my cash cow is preparing her udders for my milking....sweet succor.

Selah!!!