Today I had opportunity to discuss one of those men vs women topics with a female friend. The topic this time was men's approach to the wedding day.
It's no secret that women get all worked up over weddings and men get worked up over the implications. A typical conversation with a woman about the glorious wedding day will lead to bubbly exuberance and a well thought out list of must haves. All their lives they have been prepared for the wedding day. It is another stage of womanhood. Men, when asked the same question, respond with fear and trepidation. A man must take a wife but he's likely to want to stall for a while.
The naive fellow thinks about his life and assesses that he has achieved a certain standard and is now in a position to enhance his life by taking a wife. If he already has a g/f he contemplates how well she fits into his plan. He thinks of a wonderful partnership where they grow together. Therein lies his naivety. The woman speaks out loud about a partnership while secretly thinks about how moldable her man is. His proposal is seen as his readiness to be made into a better man. He has no idea what is about to happen to him.
On the day, he is thinking about the vows he is about to take and their implications. This is his life now. Is he really ready? He decides he is and steps up to the altar. This moment is the defining moment of his life. Nothing can mar this day.
On the day she is giving everything equal importance, all the details; cake, dress, decorations, flowers, weather, colours, bridal party, shoes, the roast, pictures, ....etc.... The vows she, figures are minor matters because its just a matter of repeating what the pastor/priest says. Plus the man has already begun his training. Nothing had better mar this day.
I'll leave the discussion of what happens after the wedding, including the desire for sexual intimacy vs time graphs until another post. Sensible men with any hope of getting a good woman will avoid commenting on this blog in a way that suggest that they agree with me.
Selah!!
4 comments:
Ur advice is sound, and I know I should stop here and speak no further on this topic, but I feel compeled to put my foot in my mouth :D. I agree with your assesment, but I believe that men today are not that blind to the truth, they are, in a way, aware of the fact that they are ending there life as they know it and are hoping for the best. I myself am hope to stave of the dreadful fate as long as possible :D (I hear many of my female freinds laughing as I type). I would suggest that every young man watch Chris Rocks last Comedy special his usuall sharp comments are ones that every man needs to pay attention to. He, in his own special way describes what marraige is about and does not color it, giving us all the gory details, unlike other comedians however, he does not bash marraigge (being married himself he dare not), but instead he puts it in perspecteve for all men to take stock. Marraige is nothing to fear, but it is something to wary of, every man must enter this know what this gonna cost him. Once he accepts this he will (i believe) fully reap the benefits of this mostt awsome of institutions.
Part 2 of the comment, This is too much to put in one comment. Now one of the things that stuck with me the most from Chris Rocks show was his statement that "Men Dont Get Married, They Surrender". Very profound, but we wont go into that. The other profound thing he said is that "to make a marraige work men need to find out what it is about. Women allready know, they are just waiting for the man to catch up. What the marraige is about is Her". Even more profound. And the last comment I shall mention is "You can never make woman truly happy, but dont you dare not try".
I must say Hylt, I love your last comment :o). I will however say that I think this attitude of submission (or verbal expression of one) that men hold encourage the women to stay on their path of thinking they can mold a man once he is hers. Though compromise is key, I'm certainly not looking for any man to mold, that to me is like marrying on a child. The truth is change is inevitable and all will benefit from the marriage if they assume and expect their partner to change from the day they marry them... for the worse. They had better love what they had at the start and not think they're going to make it any better after the marriage vows. That's my two cents.
Tsk tsk. We excuse you because you are young, but more importantly because you are female and as such, a member of the perpetrating group. Your naivety leaves you in charge, mine leads to my doom.
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