Blah Blah Blah

Ok so its been a while.

Some may notice that the friendship blog is gone. I didn't feel it anymore so it had to go. When it is ready it'll come back.

So we are back from the lyme. Big up to the lyme committee for facilitating a great time. Big up to Akitas. We rule, we won, nuff said. Particular mention of the lateral puzzle. Unfortunately, that exercise proved once again that I do not work well in groups. It was a fairly simple puzzle that didn't even require solving all elements, just finding the killer. I guessed the killer but didn't put the clues together in time to win. My great Akitas worked at it with everyone pitching in....except me. I couldn't focus in the din. I couldn't work the way they were working. I needed absolute quiet for my thoughts to coalesce. I did try to work with the group but abandonned the idea when time flitted away. Eventually I sought my own paper and sat to work. We didn't figure it out in time and so we placed second in that activity. I sat down afterwards with Kelly and we worked it out in 10 min. Truly tragic.

They say medicine is about teamwork. It has been hypothesised that more autonomous personalities enter med and so educators in the programme must spend time to teach the value of working in groups. I take a backseat in groups mainly because I tend to be more autonomous/dictatorial when in charge (democracy is a pigment of the imagination of idealists). I like the notion of democracy, it keeps ppl working hard and thinking that they have an equal share in things. It justifies the work they do and delivers a notion of self-importance like a drug to the ego. Those that avail themselves of their egos or have self-sufficient egos don't fall into the democracy trap.

I like chocolate!

School has restarted and I am on the most wonderful rotation for the next 5 weeks. I have classes 4 hrs for the week (2hrs mon and 2hrs tuesday). I have research to do for those classes and a final 15min group presentation (that bad word again). Naturally I make sure I'm not in charge and attempt to stay away from the major decisions. I try to conform so that I don't take over and cause ruption. So far I'm on track.

After this rotation, hard work begins and mail checking will be a luxury much less blog entries. But I'll have to find a way. It means I'll also have much to discuss as I encounter much more in the line of duty.

I've just heard gunshots and am contemplating the state of affairs in Jamaica today. Mainly because in the past, having heard shots, I would run and hide. Now I continue as if nothing is new. My family wakes in the morning and asks if "those were shots last night". We are all becoming immune.

Yesterday Kelly and I were driving past University Crescent and happened upon what seemed like an accident scene. A 93/94 Nissan Sentra parked in the middle and its driver across the road, pistol in hand explaining to the angry/frightened pedal cyclist the importance of proper motoring. Kelly freaked and tried to bob and weave out of the line of fire as quickly as possible. I assesssed the situation as punk and punkette fluffing peacock feathers, knocking antlers to show who was haaaaarder. The pistol holder was smaller in stature but obviously felt bigger (surprising how perceptions change when viewed from opposite ends of the barrel of a gun).

What was it that he had to prove to draw his gun in broad daylight, in the middle of the road, at the gates of a primary school, in front of his female companion? Things in this country are beyond logic (at least beyond mine). I don't want to run away. I'm still figuring out how I can make a difference. Perhaps I can start with a simple/complex changing of myself to lead by example. That'll surely suck. But we all have to learn to deny self sometimes, for a greater good.

Food for thought!