AMB posted about himself pointing out his good qualities. I have no intention of boring anyone with disputable information when frankly I don't give a damn.
I feel compelled to speak about the eternal search for a good man. No I'm not looking.
Where are the good guys? Are there any good guys left out there? I was privy to at least 3 conversations by broods of bitter women who were convinced that the notion of a good man was either:
1. Santa clausish/tooth fairyish (figments of the imagination)
2. Loch Nessish/Bigfootish (rumoured but not proven/disproved)
I disagree. There are good guys all around and a fair number right under the noses of those who claim to be looking. Mr. Bailey has been described as eye-candy, however not all good guys happen to be so blessed. Hence they are not seen and not identified by cursory glances. This sub-set will not make any hearts flutter, catch anyone's eye or be paid any mind. Since they have to be noticed before they can be identified much less appreciated, they'll just continue being over-looked.
What about the good guys who haven't had the benefit of a good education at least to tertiary level? They are out there busting their asses doing the best they can. But most of them will never be rich. The ratio of men to women at tertiary level in the Caribbean is 3:7. Will you continue to look in this population when the odds are completely out of favour (considering that 1/2 of those are gay)?
What happened to the shy ones or the respectful ones who won't get your attention because they don't call loudly enough?
What happened to those who are with psycho women because they searched using the same parameters that you use? Or they settled for whomever paid them any mind?
The fact of the matter is that good guys don't always come in the packages that you expect them to. Neither do good girls. You cannot use a faulty search algorithim and expect to yield useful results. Important to note that everyone has something about them that is quite annoying and unfortunately it may just be the first thing we see today but not tomorrow. So although first impressions last, we can choose to re-evaluate to see if the person has stabilised. Maybe some intervention may be needed to settle them.
We have to be positive and sort out the junk in ourselves that attracts the weirdos. Then re-evaluate what we are looking for and what strikes us at first sight. Then perhaps we can look back at some of the friendships we had and see if we missed out on a great person/partner because we failed to appreciate a good guy/girl who was right under our noses.
"But I don't want to mess up a good friendship!" Why do we want to work in reverse? Who says that it must be sexual attraction first and then try to be friends in the middle or even end (in old age when there is no other choice)? Worse yet, why we willing to take a chance on a complete stranger cause they tickle our fancy but not on a friend who we know will treat us better than the stranger would if things don't work out? They're supposed to become our best friends on the way to marriage anyway, so why not take a short cut?!
Anyway, food for thought!
Selah!!!
3 comments:
'Eye-candy'... LOL!
Anyway, I couldn't agree with you more. For many of us the problem lies in the fact that we set the bar so high (he must look this good, be this bright, blah blah blah) that when the person doesn't live up to one of these specifications he's automatically demoted to a 'friend' status (admittedly this isn't always the case). And a lot of good guys are single because of that. Most of the best guys I know are all single people, and not because they want to be.
True, you want somebody you can look on and be happy with what you see, and sure, you want all those other qualities, but the whole package is a rear and perhaps impossible combination, so sometimes you have to be able to overlook some things for the greater good. Nobody's perfect. And if you choose to be picky, then you could be choosing to wait, and wait, and wait. The choice is yours.
Sometimes life isn't that black and white...
I hear what you saying though, and to an extent I agree.
My friends will tell you that I tend to find cute, brown guys - but I promise you this is not intentional.
I don't go looking for guys that fit into a mold. And that's why I can't say that :'I go for tall, indian guys with low hair' or other specs like that. When ppl do that they limit themselves a whole lot (and so I've never understood it, though I gather quite a few ppl do it thinking about the children)
For me it's always been a feeling - I see a guy and go hmmm - you spark my interest. Maybe we all need to 'member that at the end of the day it's the inside that count's - as much as u want a good exterior.
(Aside: got pissed today - feel like starting my own blog - where will I find the time?)
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