Hmmmmm

Compliment or Insult

My wife and I were comparing notes the other day. "I have a higher IQ, did better on my SATs and make more money than you," she pointed out. "Yeah, but when you step back and look at the big picture, I'm still ahead," I said. She look mystified. "How do you figure?" "I married better," I replied.

Welcome to the Family

I was visiting my parents with my new husband, a Navy frogman, when he drew me aside. "I don't think your mother likes me," he said. "I was explaining that I can't wear my wedding ring when I dive, because barracudas are attracted to shiny things and might bite off my finger. And she said, 'Well, can't you wear it on a chain around your neck?' "