17 Don'ts in 2006

1. DON'T visit a tanning booth. I do not care how light you are, tanning is not an activity listed as acceptable for African Americans. If you are that light, buy a bronzing cream.

2. DON'T outline your lips with black lip liner. You are not Caucasian. Your lips are big enough already. There is no need to call attention to them.

3. DON'T leave the house without lotion. Ashy is not synonymous with sexy.

4. DON'T skip a day. Your body chemistry is different from that of Caucasians. Please use deodorant. Funky is only good if it's a bass line in a song.

5. DON'T have three or more baby mamas / daddies. It's not cute and it's confusing.

6. DON'T drive a car that is worth more than your house.

7. DON'T put on cologne without showering, bathing or washing up first. You stink.

8. DON'T believe the myth that all black folks can dance. Remember your uncle at your sister's wedding? That's how you look, just 20 years younger.

9. DON'T confuse a hustle with a job. Your hustle is what you do in addition to your job. Going to the studio is not a job. In fact, it's not even a hustle unless you get paid.

10. DON'T walk around half-naked outside. We don't want to see it. IT AIN'T CUTE.

11. DON'T laugh when your children cuss. It's not cute.

12. DON'T ever let anyone make you feel bad for being "too black" - Whether in skin complexion, culture, or attitude. Remember the words of Ossie Davis in Purlie: "I find, in being black, a thing of beauty...A joy."

13. DON'T accuse someone of selling out simply because they've become successful. Gospel artists, hip hop stars, and jazz musicians like nice things just like you; and if you could get paid to drink Sprite on camera or sell a million records, you would too. Kirk Franklin and Ice Cube aren't sellouts -- they're successful Learn the difference and then handle YOUR business.

14. DON'T neglect the older folks in your life. They have plenty good wisdom. Besides, you'll be trying to jump in the grave with them when they die.

15. DON'T refer to straight hair as good hair. If it covers your head, it's good hair. You can be happy nappy.

16. DON'T go to Bedside Baptist Church. In other words, get your butt up on Sunday morning, get dressed, and GO get your worship on. Don't try to watch Church shows on TV, and say you went to Church. God deserves it; and you need the Word and the fellowship whether you know it or not.

17. DON'T pass on ridiculous e-mails and swear up and down that they are true. Your cousin did not see Tommy Hilfiger on Oprah dissing black folks. Proctor and Gamble is not owned by Satan. No one is going to steal your kidney if you visit New Mexico. Bill Gates is not going to give you jack; We're still friends even if I don't return an e-mail, and I do love God despite not forwarding a prayer to over 300 people. AMEN

---

Prayer is not a substitute 4 action, it is an action 4 which there is no substitute!