Babies R' Us

Ok so I come across this urban legend and the first thing that comes to my mind is that the bredda get a jacket. Then I look at the mother and I figured she got shafted as well. Now I don't know how well that can be explained scientifically so I guess, short of baby switching at the hospital (and if that's the case they didn't even try to cover it up), I must accept this as a true story.

I am on Obs/Gyn for the next 5 weeks (started Monday). I work 1:2 for the next 12 days. Each shift is 24hrs (8am -8am); I haven't left early any day so far. Last night was so busy and I have heard that it can be worse. We are apparently in the off season for babies now. Peak season is 9mths after rainy season and any hurricane (in Trinidad its 9mths after carnival).

I look at the babies and I look at the fathers who are present and I try to see the resemblance and their reactions. The problem is that all of them come out looking white. That's great if you happen to be white, but if'n you appen to be of my light absorbing hue (maybe that explains why I am always warm) questions may just arise in your mind.

Since I started Monday, 30 babies were born (oops I meant 20); 15 girls and 5 boys..... 3:1. Statistically, one of those boys will be gay, 2 will go to jail, 1 will be a rude bwoy and the last one will be a good yout. One of the girls will link up wid the good yout, 4 will breed for the 2 in prison and the other ten will fight for the rude bwoy, share him, buy a vibrator (five speed, 205hp with 198 lbs of torque) or enjoy celibacy.... perhaps enjoy is too strong a word.

Should I have kidnapped the boys and taken them to a training camp where we can raise them to be the men needed in society? I sure as hell didn't want that responsiblity! But then that's the problem. No one wants that responsibility! In the past the community raised the child. The parents were there and the commuity pitched in. In so called 'primitive' African tribes (lack of european/western influence) they still manage to raise good men with low levels of juvenile delinquency and nil family abandonment. I understand that incidence of homosexuality is low to nil. So what the hell are we doing wrong?

For the rude bwoy, it is a time of feasting. Men are scarce and women are settling. I over-heard a conversation between 2 nurses. The younger one said she had no children and was waiting till she was married before she had any. The older one laughed and told her that when she start to get old and realise that the marriage thing not happening, she going to change her mind real quick and have a child out of wedlock. Now this younger one was easy on the eyes so her problem won't be in attracting admirers. The problem may lie in who's available in the gene pool.

There are still good men out there (don't take my tirade as a doom and gloom message....... awww who am I kidding. ooonu salt to backside!!) but they may be hard to find if you don't know what to look for. Basschocolate, Dilly, Mario, Seeker come to mind, though I understand that 3 are spoken for already.

Ladies, go read up and find out what a good man is supposed to look like (behaviour-wise) and stop fishing in the dark or waiting on high tower for Prince Charming to come rescue you. Those princesses had a spell that preserved their youth. Botox, tummy tucks , and Noni can only do so much.

Selah!!