Yes the exam season is upon us again, and the legalised 'hol dung an tek' has begun..... as if taxes weren't enough!
So paeds has been blah! I didn't think that I was so terrible with things! Anyway I let myself get flustered in my 'damn-near 3hrs' Paeds OSCE exam. I thought it started out well (I started at a rest station). My first active station my consultant walks off and another one takes over... does that mean I have to start over..... but the clock is still ticking?! "Bend over bitch!!"
Instructions - examine this patients lower limb motor system, including reflexes.
"Shiiiiiieeeet! I hate motor exams! Alright lets get this over with." Post Mortem (optional) - your technique was not fluent, it was obvious you weren't sure what you were doing. You have lots of work to do. I'm not sure why I even passed you for this station, there is no justification for it!
.....Thank you?....(If you come up with a better response to a comment like that you let me know) "Take it all bitch!"
1. Tell this patient about use of a spacer and inhaler.......
2. Tell this 1st time mother about breast feeding and diet for baby until age 1yr
3. Lab stations - Raised intra-cranial pressure, Viral/atypical meningitis, Asthma, Left Otitis media
4. History station (fake patient - intern)
Is it really necessary to copy patient characteristics including refusal to give up di information necessary for diagnosis.... considering in real life I gots all night to get the friggin history and in exam I just have 10 min. It's a friggin Paediatric history.... the longest history in all of medicine. She drawing attention to UTI symptoms and mek I and I chase mi tail with wrong focus. By the time I realise is DEHYDRATION dem want I to get is at the follow-up lab station. "Go inna di wata"
Den di 1 topic I supposed to kill, di yout start bawl when mi touch him and mi spen/waste di rest of mi time trying not to get flustered and end up saying too little of consequence. "Go inna di sea"
So we finish exam and decide that since we all so frassed we'd work some past papers . Took us 3 hrs to work through 50 multiple choice questions (1/3 of the 2hr paper). We had to wonder what the hell we've been doing for the last 10 weeks cause nuff tings looked like brand new info. "...and bruk up figarine... let love be free"
Yes it was more than 4 of them and they did grind me. They obtained no consent.... of course if I decide to dress like a med student and hang out on the ward during exam hours then clearly I was begging for a buggering!